Money Thoughts

Being broke truly does suck. I know . . duh. It’s not like anyone says, gee if only I were broke.
I know I am in this situation due to decisions I made. Some stupid decisions, some just not fully thought out, some not my fault, and some where I was just plan unlucky.
The thing I hate the absolute most, is not being independent. I hate having to ask my husband for money. I know is our money, what’s his is mine, 50/50. But, it’s not my money, its his. He worked for it, he saved it, its his.
I am so determined to get rid of this debt. I can’t wait to write out checks that will bring my debt down – the thought of that is downright exciting!
I will not give up – I will not be at this place again.
I know exactly what I need to make to be debt free in 3 years time. Now I just need to find the income so that I can write those exciting checks and be debt free in 3 years.

Broke

I am so broke, it is not even funny. Although why that would be funny at all, i am not sure.  Two and a half years age I was approached to purchase a company. At the time I was tried/burnt-out at my career and the idea of being a business owner was so appealing. I spoke with my husband about it and he said if it was what I wanted to do then I should go for it. So I accept the proposal and took over all aspects of the business. At first I stayed on with my full-time job (this business is web-based) and ran the business in the pm, early am and weekends. After a few months i went to part-time and them in Dec of 2006 I left my previous position.  When I bought the company I was naive and foolish in that I did not take the necessary steps in determining the business’ true value and took the word of the person I bought it from. I know – stupid.

The business was moving along summer and fall are “Busy” months and the rest of the year is slow bout steady.  The business has yet to make a profit, and I know that it can take a few years, but I/we cannot hack it any more. I am just barely about to cover the expenses and am no longer able to contribute to the household. My husband has had to pay for everything – all our bills, the mortgage, food, etc. I have no money and it is driving me crazy.

I have always been independent, and liked it that way. I hate the feeling of having of not being able to contribute financially to my husband’s and my life. He has never said a thing about it to me, but I know it has to be very frustrating to him, I know it would be to me.

So here I am trying to find a way out. The business is so overpriced that I cannot find anyone interested in buying it. The plan now is to find a full-time job, sell off my inventory, close the business and use my income to repay my business loan.  It would take another 5 years to pay off the loan.  That makes me sad, pissed, frustrated, angry . . .

I may be able to keep up the business on the side with any/all cash flow going toward the loan. I’ll have to wait and see if I am able to keep that up.

So now I have the pleasant experience of trying to find a well paying job in a smallish town asap, let the games begin . . .